ain’t no mountain dry enough

wpid-house-its-not-lupus-its-never-lupus

It’s NEVER Lupus!

The bites and scrapes are starting to add up. Skin is so exposed with the heat, and mine is extra sensitive, as I’ve discovered it responds poorly to copper sulfate spray, so each new lump and bump comes with a whole host of paranoic wonderment: is it a mosquito bite? Is it an allergic reaction? ….. Is it lyme disease? …………….SKIN CANCER?? (In a dark corner of my room, I KNOW there’s a spider rubbing at least three of his legs together, saying: the Precious tastesss ssssso much better with a dash of fear.) Just kidding… said spider has been satisfyingly vanquished. It made the mistake of hiding behind the bathroom door in plain sight at a time when my roommate and I had enough liquid courage to construct a strategy and take it out. Even though we could see hairs on its legs. (That’s Madame Dragonslayer to you!) Read More

daze of vines in rows(es)

SPIDER9There’s a giant spider living somewhere in my room. I’ve seen him once. I turned away to grab a shoe (to gently convince him to live elsewhere, you see), and turned back around just in time to see him scuttling under my bed (…the horror!) I haven’t seen him since… clearly his intelligence is evolving. He’s biding his time until I relax my guard.

Maybe even gathering reinforcements…

Dammit.   Let’s talk about something else.

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the hills are a lie

The carcasses of a deer and a wild boar are hanging up in a cold locker in my backyard right now. The former is roadkill, recovered by my landlord; the latter a prize from hunting the night before. It’s clear we’re not in Kansas anymore… The views here are spectacular but I’m realizing that there’s much more to Alsace than the picture-perfect images of mountains, quaint houses and vines absolutely everywhere. What is certain is that any romanticized expectations I may have previously harboured about working in the vines are well and truly dashed. My arms and legs are covered in fly, mosquito, spider and even horsefly bites, not to mention thistle spines, bruises and sunburn (the latter thankfully camouflages the worst of it). It actually reminds me a lot of my camino experience – physically demanding and exhausting but mentally exhilarating and rewarding. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

New digs, and the neighbour checks us out. On the street where I live, you can see the clouds up in the vines.

Our new digs, and the neighbour checks us out suspiciously. On the street where I live, you can see the clouds up in the vines.

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all the world’s a stage

Talk about an awkward ele-vader encounter.

Talk about an awkward ele-vader encounter.

Although I like to tell myself that I am the soul of wit and easy repartee in English (constantly…validation is so comforting!), it’s becoming painfully obvious that I’m nowhere close in French. Generously, I’m about the level of awkward elevator dialogue: my conversational one-two punch is 1) the weather and 2) how’s it going..? – with the hope that the answer is a simple ‘fine’, or ‘ça va’ as, with nothing left in my verbal arsenal, my follow up usually reverts back to 1) the weather. Fortunately, I am somewhat less terrible at hearing and understanding French, more so in person than, for example, over the phone. I’ve made much more progress here, but I need to focus very hard to pick up on facial and vocal cues to understand the words and context. Were I to be less forgiving, I might admit that it probably looks suspiciously like staring. So: awkward elevator encounter with someone who says next to nothing and stares, probably stands too close, and that’s French me in a nutshell. (I’m a hoot. We should totally hang out some time.) …This is why I prefer to communicate via email. Read More